Health Update: Health Update: ‘Alpine divorce’ is a scary, viral dating term. What does it mean? – What Experts Say– What Experts Say.
There’s a horrifying dating term going viral, and every dater needs to be aware of it.
The internet is abuzz right now with the term “alpine divorce.” It happens when a couple goes on a date out in nature − think a hike, camping trip or bike ride − and then one abandons the other in the wilderness to fend for themselves.
It’s a horrible form of abuse, experts say. And it’s also not as uncommon as you might think.
Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse among other mental health issues, says she’s had clients who have, unfortunately, experienced this. She says an “alpine divorce” can be deeply traumatic, causing immense mental and physical distress.
“I’ve seen it a few times,” Sarkis says. “For a lot of people, that’s their worst fear: Being in an environment where we don’t have control over what’s going on and being abandoned somewhere. I think we all have a fear of abandonment to different degrees. Being out in an area that you do not know, where there’s wildlife, where you could easily get lost, especially if it’s unmarked, that’s a real fear for people.”
Why is everyone talking about ‘alpine divorce’?
The term appears to take its origin from a late 1800s short story called “An Alpine Divorce” by Robert Barr. The tale involves a man who attempts to murder his wife while the two are out hiking on a mountain.
The term “alpine divorce” has been getting newfound attention, thanks to a recent viral TikTok, in which a woman shares a video of herself alone out in nature. The video, which has over 19 million views, includes text that says: “POV: you go on a hike with him in the mountains and he leaves you alone by yourself and you realize he never liked you to begin with.”
The comments are full of horrified and shocked reactions, as well as people relating to her experience.
“My boyfriend did this to me,” one person wrote. “I found another hiker to show me how to get back then I went home and blocked his number.”
“I got left alone in the forest once,” wrote another. “Had to walk back 2 hours by myself after he drove off.”
“my friend got abandoned by her partner on a trail, and she goes hiking consistently now on her own with her dog in hopes of being there for any women who have the same thing happen,” wrote another. “you’re strong”
Sarkis says an “alpine divorce” can happen with someone you recently started dating, as well as with someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a while. Usually, she says, it accompanies other behavioral patterns that indicate your partner lacks empathy or care for you.
“It is abandonment. The person that does this usually has a lack of empathy, and they may have shown a lack of empathy in other areas, such as not being concerned about your needs, dismissing you, ridiculing you, telling you that you’re not good enough, forcing you to attend to their needs only,” Sarkis says. “If it is someone that you feel has a lack of empathy, it’s probably in your best interest to not go on a hike alone with them or any other strenuous activity where you might be isolated.”
What to do if you’re worried about ‘alpine divorce’
Sarkis says it’s common for people who’ve been through an “alpine divorce” to get gaslighted or blamed by the person who abandoned them. Often, the abusive partner will blame the other person for not packing enough water, not walking fast enough or not having the right gear or equipment.
This is gaslighting, plain and simple, Sarkis says. No one deserves to be abandoned, let alone by someone who supposedly loves them.
“People with a lack of empathy are really into teaching people ‘a lesson,’ ” Sarkis says “They’re looking for a reason to blame you and they can have a hair trigger temper, so they will just leave and not even consider what your needs are or that they’re abandoning you.”
If you’re concerned about “alpine divorce,” Sarkis recommends always making sure you have a way of contacting authorities in case of emergency, whenever you go out in nature. If you’re on a hike with someone you don’t know too well, make sure it’s a short trail, not too far from civilization and that there’s plenty of other people around.
And, if you’ve been through an “alpine divorce,” give yourself time and space to heal.
“I would recommend talking to a therapist, because that type of abandonment can be really traumatic,” she says. “The bottom line is this person did this behavior, and it’s possible they may do it again.”