Health Update: Health Update: Hilary Duff and when you’re afraid your partner will leave – What Experts Say– What Experts Say.
Hilary Duff does meme-worthy dance, see the viral moment
Hilary Duff’s London show was pure nostalgia with fan favorites and her viral “With Love” dance moment.
Hilary Duff’s musical comeback is turning heads, but so is her latest interview with Rolling Stone.
The singer shared that she often worries her husband, musician-producer Matthew Koma, is going to cheat on her, and says it’s a “recurring dream” of hers.
“I always think Matt’s going to leave me for some coolio indie songwriter that he works with,” she said. “Which is so insane,” Koma replied. “But also very real. Those are real things to get hung up on emotionally.”
When the article was shared on X, some readers expressed concern for Duff.
“I’m sorry but a good man will never ever ever ever make you feel that way,” one wrote. “Is she aware she is The Hilary Duff?” another replied. Others came to Koma’s defense or commended Duff for opening up about her insecurities.
So what do you do when you’re afraid your partner will leave you? Relationship experts say the fear isn’t uncommon − even in loving, stable relationships. Having open conversations about these insecurities can help expel them, and even strengthen the relationship.
Relationship anxieties are ‘very common’
Even when there are no signs or behavioral patterns that indicate your partner may cheat or leave you, psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says those fears are “very common,” and have less to do with your current partner, and more to do with “past experiences, prior betrayals or core beliefs such as ‘I’m not enough.’”
Fear doesn’t always rely on hard evidence, and “anxiety doesn’t usually distinguish between a past threat and a present one,” Sarkis explains.
Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author of “13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do,” cautions that left unchecked, those fears can lead to behavior that ultimately drives a partner away.
“For example, spying, snooping or making accusations may make a partner withdraw a bit,” Morin says. “That withdrawal may be misinterpreted as proof that they’re going to leave or that they’re already cheating.”
How to distinguish between ‘intuition’ and unfounded anxieties
A bad gut feeling can bring uneasiness to your relationship, and it can be difficult to distinguish whether it’s intuition, insecurities or unfounded anxieties.
“If you’re always afraid everyone is going to leave, that’s not intuition,” Morin says. “You can step back and look at the facts in a situation. Has your partner given you a real reason to believe they aren’t committed to you? Weigh your emotions with logic to develop a more balanced view.”
Look for “observable data,” Sarkis says. If the worry persists despite a lack of evidence, it is “more likely anxiety than intuition.”
How can couples work through a fear of abandonment
Anxiety is a feeling, not a prophecy.
“You don’t have to let it affect your behavior,” Morin says. “You can change the thoughts and behaviors that fuel your feelings and work on finding healthy ways to cope.”
The first step to overcoming a fear of abandonment can look like opening up to your partner about your concerns. Morin says these conversations can strengthen a healthy relationship, or point out flaws in an unhealthy one, such as if your partner fails to take you seriously or belittles your feelings.
If the fear persists or causes problems within the relationship, Morin and Sarkis suggest seeking support from a licensed mental health professional in individual and couples therapy.
“A therapist can also help you uncover whether your fears are due to attachment issues, past trauma or if you are in a toxic relationship,” Morin says.